Bird Talk and The Meaning of Life

Okay, once and for all, we are going to have this conversation and things are going to get straightened out. Ya, you and me oh lord. Pardon the sarcasm. I will not accept this guessing any longer. Today, now, you are going to talk to me and give me the information I need to make sense of things. I am open to it right now while I sit on this bench. So, I am not asking, I am telling you to speak up here and now. Oh boy, waiting is for the birds. So… lets have it. I am waiting…..I said now!

CAW, CAW.

Is that it? Is that you? A crow calling on that telephone wire?

CAW.

Not quite what I had in mind. How are we suppose to communicate eh? It isn’t like I speak crow is it.

CAAW.

Listen you, I will not be seen sitting here speaking to a crow twenty feet above my head like some loon. If you are going to do it this way, then come down her and do it.

CAW.

So, this must be you. It isn’t everyday a crow flies down and sits on a bench beside a fellow like me. Well aren’t you the clever one. Showing up as a big black bird after I throw down the gauntlet. Next question, how am I to understand a bird brain like you?

CAW CAW CAW.

Ouch! You pecked me on the forehead. I bleeding for crying out loud! Nasty, that is what that is. I hope I don’t get infected with something now.

(Flapping wings)

Okay okay, take it easy. No more violence. I will try to be more polite. Hah, look at me, sitting beside a big crow with a bleeding forehead and talking like we have some common language. I will be lucky someone doesn’t see this and call the looney bin to take me away.

Caw, Caw.

Fine then. Here it goes. My big question. What in the name of hell, is going on here. By here, I mean life. Life as I know it, on this planet as I know it, in this universe as I know it. Don’t give me a bunch of cawing either. I want a straight answer and I want it now. Well…. can you answer or not?

Caw.

Lets have it then.

(Flapping wings)

Where are you going? Why are you flying away? Hey! Look out… you are going to fly right into that….!! Unbelievable. That crow flew into that little kid on the bike and disappeared.

Hey mister. I got to tell you something… You have to stop thinking you know what you know cause what you know isn’t what there is to know and you can not even imagine what is really there cause you are too caught up in control. What is going on is simple, don’t make it harder by inventing frames to hang it in. For that matter, you should never have made the podium to hold the book that is some wild notion of what lies hidden within the picture you trapped in that frame.

Who the hell are you kid? What are you talking about? Do I even know you? Didn’t your mom ever teach you not to talk to strangers? Move along now. I am in no mood for kids.

I am no kid mister. I am a crow.

(Flapping wings)

What the…?!! That crow just fly out of the top of that kids head. My god I have never seen such a thing like it. Hey kid, you okay?

Where am I… oh, how did I get all the way over here. I am sorry mister, but my mom told me not to talk to strangers. Especially men on park benches. I got ta go.

CAW.

Holy cats, that was the weirdest thing ever. I see you’re back crow, sitting on my bench along side me. So, that is how it will be eh? You going to fly into people and possess them long enough to tell me stuff eh? Only thing is you are still talking in gibberish. Metaphors are too ambiguous. Can’t you speak plainly?

Caw, caw.

I am going on a limb here and guessing you are giving me the one caw means yes, two means no routine. Am I right?

Caw.

Well then, aren’t we just moving along at the speed of light.

Caw.

Funny bird. Okay, I am going to go along with this. But enough about frames and pictures and podiums. I want answer I can understand. I ask you again, what it the purpose to all of this? What is the purpose of life?

(Flapping wings)

There you go again, where are you going to fly into next. Hey ally-cat, incoming! Man that is bizarre to see. That crow is easily as large as that cat and, frump, in it goes. So what have you got to tell me cat? Not that I expect you to answer. Hmm, what are you up to. Looks like you are stocking something. You are! Look at the size of that rat! Wow! that was quick and vicious. That cat just ripped the rat apart. I’d a thought the rat would have given a better fight. Guess it didn’t know it had a chance. Now, what the hell was I to see here that answers my question. Again, no clear direction. This is pissing me off a little. Hey crow, come on out of that cat, I am not happy with your cryptic demonstration. This is driving me to distraction!

(Flapping wings) Caw.

Back eh. Listen, this isn’t working for me. I am sitting here with you watching you fly in and out of things and, as interesting as that may be, it isn’t giving me what I need. Am I just wasting time here?

CAW.

What?! I am wasting time? What the hell! That is the last straw. I tell you I need answers and expect them now. You show up as a bird who can enter other people and animals, and you tell me this is a waste of time?

Caw, caw.

Well which is it!? Bah! You say I am wasting time but not wasting time with you. How the hell am I to make sense of that? Last chance saloon. Answer my simple question will you? Answer me clear and direct. I won’t even ask another question after, if you would just answer in a direct way why life exists.

Caw. (Flapping)

There you go, off and away. What you are going to find up there is a mystery to me. I sure don’t see anything up that can help me. Woe! Dive bomb attack. Straight into that moving funeral-hurst. Oh god, that is horrible! The door in the back just flew open and a coffin slipped out. For a second there, the coffin stood upright and opened and I saw a corpse standing there, and it looked like it was starring at me. The car stopped and a panicking driver jumped out. What a contrast, a living panicky face rushing about in senseless outpour of energy and a cold, quiet dead man with a face void of lines and expression and chaos. What a spectacle to behold. That was worth the price of admission. Now, what does this have to do with anything? Where is that bird. Ah, there.

(Flapping wings)

So, that is it eh. That was your best effort. Well bird, it didn’t tell me anything. I am no better informed then before. What is it with you? Why can you not just simply answer my question?

CAW CAW CAW.

Sure, you squawk and flap your wings all you want. Peck me again with your beak if it is warranted. I asked for a simple answer and it is too much for you to answer. My eyes are open and all I see is tricks and rubbish. I know when I am being shamed.

CAW CAW (Flapping wings)

Yea yea. What ever. I have had enough. Good bye crow. Thanks for nothing. I will try to find my answer some other way I like better. I am out of here before someone does see me talking to a bird and think me crazy.

About the Author

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